


trying to keep us apart

by ashtonism



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, Angst, Coming Out, Fighting, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, NEED FEEDBACK TO CONTINUE??, Sad sad sad, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, calum is a dork who tries to cheer everyone up, childhood growing up au, friends to strangers, hes kind of a dick and a coward through most of it, idk what the fuck do to with tags, insecure!ashton, maybe later - Freeform, mikey tries to save ashton, next door neighbors au, otp af, poor baby gets put through too much shit, read with caution, scared!luke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 23:48:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4157571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtonism/pseuds/ashtonism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke remembers the day. He remembers the way he loved the laugh and how it just sounded like music to his ears. He remembers the smiles, even though he never realized some were fake till it was too late. He remembers the fights and the tears. He remembers the guilt he felt every time he had to say no. He remembers staying up all night with a mind that constantly fought. He remembers when he suddenly felt whole. He remembers when he thought it was going to be okay. He remembers when it all went wrong.</p><p>	Luke remembers when he met Ashton.</p><p>[ or where luke was too late. ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. preview // after

**Author's Note:**

> hiiii. this story idea came to me at about 4 in the morning and is loosely based off a vine i saw. granted you cant see the vine till the end to keep stuff secret. this was originally a one shot but my baby has grown and i have to break it down into chapters as i go. i moved all summer so blah. updates will be spacey due to all my AP courses work and sports. but they will be 10k or more word updates. I NEED FEEDBACK. please, please please. the first chapter or review is written in an odd way, i guess you could say.

  Years later people will look back on this story, having heard it throughout the town or from old friends remembering. A story on how two boys were so in love but too scared to show it, and they will shake their heads, because to them it was pointless. They’ll think that the two boys just didn’t understand that it would’ve been okay. That they could’ve made it. If only they had  _tried harder._

 

  But what they wouldn’t get is that the two boys did try, they tried their hardest for so long and it wasn’t enough. They wanted to believe that their love would always be enough.  _But always wasn’t enough_. People wouldn’t get that trying made them  _exhausted._  It made them run themselves down into the ground. Trying is what gave them such a tragic end.

 

_No one would understand._

 

  Years after the end of this story a little girl will be walking down the sidewalk with her mother. She’ll have a big smile on her plump pink lips and a sparkle in her blue eyes as she tugs on her mom’s hand eagerly, because there’s a candy shop just a block away and she’s been a good girl so she’s getting a treat. Her mother will be telling her to slow down, that there is no need to rush. But she’ll shake her head and whine “ _but mommy mommy mommmyyyyy”_  as she adds a bounce in her step, light brown curly hair bouncing in the humid weather.

 

  Her mom will sigh and shake her head, pulling her daughter to a stop and reaching into her purse to pull out an old twenty, handing it to the little one with instructions: go to the cookie shop and get whatever she wants and wait for mommy as she picks up dry cleaning that’s next door.

 

  The little girl squeals and takes the money, turning around and runs. She runs without a care in the world and lets out contagious little giggles.

 

  Until the little girl runs into something.

 

  She’ll fall on her bum and hold back a cry.

 

  She’ll sniffle and pull herself off the dirty ground, looking for the thing that had gotten in her way.

 

  And she’ll look up and see a man and to her, the world will stop.

 

  She’ll look into his eyes and see someone who is broken, the dull blue of his eyes had long faded to a grey, clouding up the once vast and beautiful sea.  _Blank, expressionless_. His skin will be pale and worn, what once was a beautiful tan now sick with grief, dimples a long distant figment of imagination.  His lips will be chapped and thin, a pale pink that blends to his skin. His once full blonde hair will lie limp across his forehead, casting shadows over his vacant eyes and deepening the sinks under his cheek bones. His collarbone will be prominent, sticking clear through his flimsy shirt. A necklace will be hung around his neck, the gold chain dirtied and held with a breaking clasp. A single charm will lie over his shirt; dull silver “A” rests in contrast to the black material covering his fragile frame. His fingers will be thin and shaking, always shaking as if with fear. His figure will be hunched, always bent over just a little like he’s curling up within himself.

 

  It’ll take a moment before the man realizes that the world was moving forwards and acknowledges the girl, tilting his head down and giving her the smallest sliver of a smile and maybe the corner of his lip twitches up for second, just  _maybe._  He’ll be trying to say  _im so sorry im so sorry im so broken and I cant fix it please forgive me please be okay please be happy im sorry_  through it and she will simply swallowed back her words, too scared of what might happen because there’s a sudden cold feeling in her chest, spreading out through her body like a spider-web. She can feel it in her fingertips.

 

  Once her eyes met his it was like her body was shoved into a tub of ice.

 

  She could see, could  _feel_ his pain through his eyes. It was like a thousand knives were stabbing at her heart and she had no idea what was going on.

 

  That little girl will want to help but will be frozen to her stop, the two of them standing still as people rush about around them.

 

  She will see the heartbreak in his expression. She’ll see how the man had been a happy boy, who had grown up with struggles and fought tooth and nail. But she’ll see how he lost.

 

  She will see his hate, but not for anyone else. For himself. She will feel such power self-hate it will shake her to her core, it’s something a young girl shouldn’t know.

 

  She will see how he’s missing something. She can see it in the way his hands quiver, fingers curling as if they’re trying to grasp something that wasn’t there anymore. His heart is missing, the reason he was whole was gone.

 

  She will see how he’s barely living. The minimum has kept him going, the hope that one day it’ll be okay keeping him alive. His breaths will be shallow and his steps light, as if he was already on his way to the grave, ready to be an angel.

 

  She will see how much he wants to end it all, how much he’s hurting.

 

  And then it’s over.

 

  The whole encounter will have happened in seconds.

 

  In a blink of an eye the little trance she was in will be over, the bubble around them bursts and she notices the world around her, she’ll see how it’s moving and her fingers will tighten around the bill in her hand and she looks at it, reminding her of where she was going.

 

  The girl will shake her head and look up, wanting to find the broken man again but he will be gone. She will turn around and look through the crowds of people, needing to see the dead blonde hair, to know he was real.

 

  She won’t be able to spot him; only a glimpse of clouded eyes before her mom comes rushing forwards, having seen her daughter fall moments before.

 

  She’ll stand still as her mother worries and asks if she’s alright and she’ll nod slowly, taking a deep breath before telling her mom about the man. She will tell her about his sad eyes and bleeding heart and how his fingers shook like grandma’s when she forgets her meds. She’ll tell her mom how utterly hopeless she felt when she looked in his empty eyes and could see how sad and withered his soul had become. She’ll explain how broken down his features were.

 

  Her mother will let out a deep sigh and pull her daughter close as she whispers out “mommy who was that sad man?” and she’ll brush her fingers through the soft hair of her child as she bites her bottom lip, shaking her head as she thinks back, and feels the pain of the man.

 

  She will pull back and brush her thumb across her daughter’s cheek before finally answering.

 

  “Oh honey.. that poor boy’s name is  _Luke_.”

 

  And that will be the end, the two will continue on with their day and the memory of the man will become distant till it fades from their memories.

 

  Because no one bothers to get to know the story, on how the boy named Luke became an empty shell of himself.

 

  In the end no one really cares, the story of the boy wasn’t one for the papers, it died out. It’s one that’s written on the backs of napkins and thrown out, forgotten.

 

  No one cared enough to remember, the story of the two was lost in the wind. Only one remembered, and it didn’t matter.

 

  Nothing mattered.

 

 Because it was a story of star-crossed lovers, and everyone knew how those ended. Crash and burn, it all falls apart.

 

  But no one bothered to fucking listen, to hear the struggles, the pain the two went through, the years of agony and secrets. Even the few blissful moments they got where they thought that maybe just maybe it might be okay.

 

  But no, the people?  They’d write it off as a love story gone wrong because they didn’t –  _they didn’t know._

 

  They didn’t know that if one thing changed, it would’ve been okay.

 

  One thing would’ve fixed it everything.

 

  But sometimes it’s just too late.

 

  So maybe when this story is finally written and told, and you come by, you should stay and listen, really listen and learn about the two boys who loved each other even when the whole world was against them and in the end, it just  _wasn't enough_  to save them both.


	2. feeeddback.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i really need feedback ):

this will be up for a day or two as i get ready to put up the first part!!

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts? should i even upload it.


End file.
